Moments

There are moments in life where the world seems to stop spinning on its axis - when everything slows down and sometimes actually stops - just stops. The moments that sound is amplified - or completely dissipated - where sight is heightened - or turns to black - it all means the same thing. A captivating moment. A moment that changes the course of the path of life. I have had a few of these wonderfully glorious and horrific moments so far in my life.

The cry of my first born child -then second - then third.

The moment I was told my 20 week old fetus was no longer alive.

The moment my husband simply wrapped his arms around me and I felt nonjudgmental, accepting and completely open hearted love for the first time.

There are not many moments in life - but when the moments happen - they are huge. And they always remembered vividly.

For the first time in my life I went looking for a moment tonight. As I was sitting in my dining room, doing some work in a quiet house, I felt a pull - a twinge almost. I started looking for a song that I knew I needed to listen to. I knew for the first time I needed a moment. I needed everything to stop. I needed to listen - I needed to see.

I downloaded Sanvean by Lisa Gerrard. An incredibly powerful, beautiful and emotional piece of music.

And I cried...and I cried...and I cried.

And acknowledged that my mommy is sick. And I acknowledged that my mommy has breast cancer. And acknowledged that I am sad. And I acknowledged that I am scared.

And now my life path has been changed. And I will always remember the moment.