What I Should Have Said Was...

November BloggyMoms Challenge! Here I go...

It is hard to decide how deep and profound I should go with this post. I tend to try to keep things light, but I must be honest - there were two things that popped into my mind right off the bat.

Part I: What I Should Have Said Was...

Knowing what I know now, in my infinite wisdom at 30 years old, I look back to a cold and blustery day in 1988. I was 8 years old and in grade 2. My family had just moved to the big smoke from a small town. Things were a bit haywire in my world. I had gained a ton of weight at a young age and was a chubster. There was a boy that teased me relentlessly. Bullied me. Very mean and very cruel. There was one day in particular that I remember. He had backed me into the corner at recess time and was whispering at me -

"You are nothing but a fatty"- "No one likes you because you're so fat"
Blah blah blah.

I was absolutely frozen.
And then it stopped and he left me alone.
Never bugged me again. Almost like it scared him how cruel he had been.

What I Should Have Said Was...something.
Anything.
Not anything mean or vindictive - just something.
I should have stood up for myself.
I believe that on that day my intense fear of confrontation was born. I wish I had loved myself enough at the tender age of 8 to know that this boy probably heard his dad say something along the same lines, or had a horrible home life, or was just a jerk and it had nothing to do with me. It wasn't my fault.
On a weekly basis, or when ever the moment is right, I take the opportunity to talk to my kids about how important it is to love themselves unconditionally. No one can take that from them. They are loved and they are loving. Period.

Part II: What I Should Have Said...

This one is quite recent and quite ridiculous. But whatever. It pissed me off something fierce! Long story short, there is a couple that totally screwed over my family financially. Didn't pay a bill that they were supposed to pay. Left us on the hook. It started a chain reaction of other crap that will take years for us to recover from. Devastated us financially.
But it is just money. We are happy. We are healthy. My family rocks and we are working through it.
So...this couple are horrid human beings. They got to where they are in life by cheating and lying - we have all met people like this and they just plain suck.
We were at son's hockey game and low and behold, they are there because their son is playing on opposing team.
They had the audacity to say hello to us!
(I thought my husband was going to have a coronary!)
We did not acknowledge them. Did not even look at them. It was like they didn't exist.
It felt good and we had a laugh about it after. Because we are NOT horrid people and we rock. They suck.

What I Should Have Said Was...

"Oh hey! How are you? Swindled anyone else lately? No? Oh yeah, that's right, your husband is too busy hanging out at the local bar groping all the single women. Oh you didn't know your husband was a cheating SOB? A dirty, disgusting man? Well...he is." (which is all totally true! He's a pig.)
Wink - Smile -Walk away.


S0 not worth it though. I am better than that.

FOOTNOTE:
My sons kicked their son's ass in hockey. So that was awesome.

The Wonderful Word of Meh

Meh. My new favorite word. It seems to fit so many situations so perfectly.

“How’s it going today?”
“Meh.”
“Gotcha!”

Or –

“Great hockey game last night!”
“Meh.”
“Yeah, it was a bit slow.”

Or even –

“Mommy! I’m hungry!”
“Meh.”
Oh wait...what? I'd never say that.

All the same…you get the point.

My love for the word Meh encouraged me to do a bit of research about it, because I have so much free time on my hands. (Work can wait! Laundry can wait! Supper can wait! Housework can wait!)
And guess what, there is a TON of stuff about the mighty Meh when it is googled.

From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meh

Meh – is an intergection, often used as an expression of apathy, indifference, or boredom. However, it can also be used to indicate agreement or disagreement and in rare cases an ambiguous unit of measure. It can also be an adjective, meaning mediocre or boring.

How great is that!? An ambiguos unit of measure...I don't even know what that means!

But wait! It gets better...

As I read on about my beloved word, I discovered that the source of its rising popularity seemed to come from The Simpsons in 1994. THE SIMPSONS! Of course it did.
(It was also used in a forum about Melrose Place in 1992 - makes sense. Meh.)

Then the Edmonton Sun actually used it in publication in 2003 when discussing a Survivor vote. How fitting...

But wait! There is more...

Controversy arose in November 2008 when the word was added to the Collins English Dictionary. People didn't seem to like the fact that a neologism (look it up - pretty cool) wormed it's way into the publication.

But wait! It gets even better...

Harper Collins' included a real example of the marvelous word in its definition. Hold onto your pants boys and girls, this is hilarious -

Meh - as in 'the Canadian election was so meh'

(for real! check out the story - http://www.canada.com/topics/news/story.html?id=f216bac2-8f0b-4202-a1ae-8f7ed4de2bd7

I'm in love.
Meh.
Maybe I'm just bored.

Mommy Tip Alert! Mommy Tip Alert!

If you haven’t noticed already, my blog is not a typical “Mommy-Blog”. Meaning, I don’t really give any tips or helpful insights into the wacky world of motherhood, to help other Mommy-types. I mostly write about me. Yeah, I'm a mommy. But I'm me first. It’s not that I don’t care about all the other mommy-oids out there or their plight to survive mommy hood, I just don’t want to write about it.

Until now…

I’ll set the scene for you.

3:30 am. Snowy night outside. (first snowfall of 2010)
Baby starts crying.
Mommy starts to whine in protest, thinking, “Shit! I don’t want to get up.”
But because she is, of course, an incredible mommy, she lumbers into baby room.
Baby is wet. “Damn.”
Mommy changes baby to discover baby has a horrible diaper rash – his first diaper rash of his 11, almost 12 months of life.

Okay, the scene is set. Here is my MOMMY TIP –

CORNSTARCH! CORNSTARCH! CORNSTARCH!
I put it straight from the box onto the baby tuchas. Next diaper change – VOILA! No diaper rash.

As I was changing baby diaper last night I realized that I needed to blog my insight. Because I AM a Mommy-Blogger.

So there it is. A Mommy Tip. You’re welcome.

New Title to Add to My Resume...

I have just embarked on a new venture/adventure in my life. I have just entered the Realm of Hockey Mom.

It's true. And everything I have heard about being a hockey mom, or hockey moms in general, is true too.

From the famous Sarah Palin quote -

"What's the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? Pit bulls don't wear lipstick." (BaDum-Ching!) -

to the almost animal instinct of cheering certain mantras while your child is on the ice -

"Get in there buddy! Go hard! Keep 2 hands on your stick! Skate-Skate-Skate!" -

being a hockey mom is a colossal life adjustment.

I'm actually kind of confused about the whole thing. It is all encompassing in our lives now. There are 2 one-hour practices a week, at least one game every weekend (2 games every weekend for the month of November) and extra requirements expected of me. (mandatory hockey meetings - volunteer hours or I get charged a hefty fee - selling 50/50 tickets during home games - sitting in the time box...) Plus I have 2 other children that are being forced to spend minimum of 5 hours each week at the arena.

Then at the hockey game this morning something happened.

He scored his first goal.

HE SCORED A FREAKIN' GOAL!
ON A BREAKAWAY!

MY SON SCORED A GOAL!

I was so proud I could have burst - I could have actually burst into a million pieces.

Then it all made sense. The countless hours I will spend in a cold arena are nothing compared to the look on my child's face when he scores a goal for his team.

So...I would like to finish by saying...

My name is Kaley.
I am a hockey mom.
And I am DAMN proud of it!

Here I am

So...it has been awhile since I have posted. I know. I KNOW!

I feel the need to insert standard comment here...

"Life has been so crazy!"
or this one
"I have just been so busy!"
or maybe even this one
"Where has the time gone?"

Although all three could be used, I don't want to use an excuse. There is no need for an excuse. Bottom line is I haven't blogged lately because I haven't wanted to. So there. I am totally in control.

Things have just been so busy and with the kids in school again and hockey and dancing and life has been so crazy and Hudson is crawling now and the house renovations still aren't done and I am stressed cause I have a little person moving around and oh ya did I mention I have started a new business and I do it from home and it requires the making of extremely high calorie content items and my thighs and ass are growing exponentially with the thriving business and my husband works away months at a time except for now he hasn't worked in 5 weeks and Christmas is coming and where has the time gone and it's getting cold out and my car just started making weird noises....

Whew! Glad I got that out of my system.

Regardless...I'm back...

Moments

There are moments in life where the world seems to stop spinning on its axis - when everything slows down and sometimes actually stops - just stops. The moments that sound is amplified - or completely dissipated - where sight is heightened - or turns to black - it all means the same thing. A captivating moment. A moment that changes the course of the path of life. I have had a few of these wonderfully glorious and horrific moments so far in my life.

The cry of my first born child -then second - then third.

The moment I was told my 20 week old fetus was no longer alive.

The moment my husband simply wrapped his arms around me and I felt nonjudgmental, accepting and completely open hearted love for the first time.

There are not many moments in life - but when the moments happen - they are huge. And they always remembered vividly.

For the first time in my life I went looking for a moment tonight. As I was sitting in my dining room, doing some work in a quiet house, I felt a pull - a twinge almost. I started looking for a song that I knew I needed to listen to. I knew for the first time I needed a moment. I needed everything to stop. I needed to listen - I needed to see.

I downloaded Sanvean by Lisa Gerrard. An incredibly powerful, beautiful and emotional piece of music.

And I cried...and I cried...and I cried.

And acknowledged that my mommy is sick. And I acknowledged that my mommy has breast cancer. And acknowledged that I am sad. And I acknowledged that I am scared.

And now my life path has been changed. And I will always remember the moment.

Teeth, Magic and Money

Magic, as in magical experiences, not David Copperfield. More specifically, the magic I just experienced.

My oldest son just lost one of his front teeth, leaving a ginormous hole in his mouth. Super cute. Super boy-like. Super looks-like-a-mini-NHL-er.
However, he lost the tooth yesterday quite late at night. And...the tooth fairy didn't have any money on her person. (ahem, bad tooth fairy! You should always have a tooth reserve available in times of emergency! I know, I know. Dropped the ball on that one...)
Anyways, he was all bummed out that the tooth fairy didn't visit him. As it happened he had slept with me the night the tooth came out - so...BAM! - great excuse!

"Oh honey, don't worry. She will come tonight for sure."
(because she went to the ATM and got a timmies to break a $20)

"How do you know? You don't know! You don't know FOR SURE!" (6 year old boy voice reaching hysterics)

"She didn't come last night because you were sleeping with me and the tooth fairy never comes if a parent is around. She would have totally woke me up and her cover would have been blown. Trust me, I know."

At this point I got a kind of sideways glance with a furrowed brow - the look that says - "Whatever!" without actually saying it.

So what is with the magic? What is so magical?

I realised as I snuck into his room tonight - (and discovered his damn tooth was firmly planted underneath his pillow and I had to actually lift his head up to get it and he woke up for a second and I had to murmur some excuse about checking his sheets for something...but I digress...)

I realised as I was crouched down at the foot of his bed tonight, fishing out a tooth from his tooth tin in his tooth pillow and replacing the tooth with a fiver and a loonie ($6.00 for a tooth?!?! Seriously?! Yes folks...$6.00 for one tooth. Three kids + 20 teeth each = a helluva lot of money! But I digress...)

I realised that as I was doing my tooth fairy duties, the whole notion of the tooth fairy is such a wonderfully magical thing for children. As I replaced the tooth tin, in the tooth pillow, loaded with loot, I stood and gazed at my little man. His mouth was slightly open showing the window that now takes center stage on his head, and he was smiling. He was smiling while he slept. That in itself is magic. The whole tooth fairy idea made me smile because I know it makes him smile.

I cannot wait until I hear his footsteps running down the hallway tomorrow morning, running to my door and he bursts through yelling -

"I made a killing mom!"

But I digress...