"The Husband"

"So, have you updated your blog lately?" asks the husband.

"Nope, haven't really been feeling particularily inspired lately." answers the wife to her husband.

"Hm." says the husband in his suggestive, I-am-trying-to-ask-or-tell-you-something, tone.

"Why?" asks the wife, giving in to the husbands little tone-suggestion game.

"Just wondering." says the husband with a dramatic pause. Then exclaims, "You never write about me in your blog! I mean, it's suppose to be about your life, right? Don't you think you should mention me? Aren't I a part of your life? Aren't I?!?!?!" says the husband, answering his question for himself and obviously feeling a little bit sorry for himself.

At this point, the wife pauses before answering the question that has already been answered.

"My blog is about me and my life. You're right. And no, I haven't written about you much. I refer to you from time to time, but have never really talked about you. You're a part of my life but you are not ME. The blog is about ME. My thoughts, my feelings, my experiences." said the wife in a, duh!-you-dum-ass tone.

The husband listened to the wife and said nothing. The silence was deafening.

So.....

My husband is Lee.
Lee is a plumber/gasfitter/steamfitter.
Lee is awesome.
Lee is funny.
Lee is perfect.
Lee is an amazing father to our children.
Lee has a great sense of humour.
Lee is handsome.
Lee is adventurous.
Lee likes to party, in the father-of-three sort of way.
Lee is loved very much.
Lee is part of my life, and I am really grateful for him.

You hear that Lee? Let's just see how much you really do read my blog - MY blog - about ME.

Just saying.

It has been awhile since I have been able to blog. Basically it's because I totally bailed on my transformation and am feeling shame. Big fat shame . I will not dwell on it though because I have reflected on it and these are my conclusions:



I bit off more than I could chew.

I did too much too fast.

I just had a baby.

I was too tired.

I was too busy.



Oh, wait. Those are not reflective and thoughtful conclusions - those are excuses. BIG FAT EXCUSES!



I am a quitter, plain and simple. I take full responsibility. I failed at my challenge and I have no one to blame but myself. Boo hoo. Poor me. Big fat quitter. Big fat excuse maker.



But seriously people, how common is this scenario? I believe we have ALL done something such as this at least one (or fourteen) times in our lives. You see, I had great ambition for my goal. I did all the right things. I committed. I was dedicated. I was pumped up! Then a funny thing happened around week three. My life took over and routine prevailed. I did not succesfully integrate a new routine. Instead I reverted back to what was tried, tested and true for me. My Life.

Go figure!

So, is all this talk (typing) just more excuses? Am I giving myself the easy way out by saying that the mere fact of excuse making, excuses the excuses? Ponder that because I still haven't wrapped my head around it. All I know to be true, to be fact, is that I quit and now I feel bad.

Plain and simple.

Me.

Quitter.

Damn.